


5 times Hank and Antonio were almost caught being a couple and the 1 time they were

by imanotaku



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Hank and Antonio are terrible liars, How can they be cops?, M/M, Secret Relationship, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-06-03 21:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imanotaku/pseuds/imanotaku
Summary: Basically the title.God has left them both, leaving them with only the dummy and none of the thicc. And it seems that everyone has the worst timing in the world.Fortunately, they were able to escape. Until they weren't.





	1. The time they were almost caught by Alvin

The first offender was Alvin. They should’ve guessed this wasn’t a good omen (not to be confused by Good Omens, since this is a whole other type of Armageddon)- but Alvin was a real-life Jason Bourne, so it was okay, right? Hint: **no**.

  
They were on a “date”: a fast meeting between cases, usually involving beer. So, there they were, in a bar far away from the district- because they made sure not to be seen, but couldn’t keep it in their pants there- when somehow, with his turn of the century devices (or pure luck, now that God seemed to have left them), Olinski creeps behind them and pats Antonio on the back, making him break the world record in vertical leap from the scare. Hank, on the other hand, was stoic, except for one eyebrow that wouldn’t stop twitching.

Hank smiles, “Hey, didn’t know you knew about this place.”

“Didn’t know you came here.”

“Yeah, it’s quiet, away from the noise. It’s perfect.”

_It was_ , Antonio thought, sipping his beer.

“Wanna join us?” Hank asked, eyebrow still twitching, and avoiding Antonio’s gaze. Which was something along the lines of Schwarzenegger just came in riding a moose, stark naked, and turns out he shits rainbows and candies. Aka, a very ‘WTF’ look.

“No, man. Don’t want to interrupt. See you tomorrow,” With that, he waves and leaves.

Antonio took a relieved sigh, “What was that?”

“Trying not to blow our cover.”

Little do they know; Alvin is more than Jason Bourne. He’s Sherlock Holmes.


	2. The time they were almost caught by Erin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, they're in trouble

That night was far from over and so was their unluckiness. You see- and I will spare the children what dubious, late night research can teach- Antonio liked what came next. Yes, he liked the “dates”, but what followed was like ice cream on a hot day. Meaning, he only got it a couple of times, because murderers and gangsters were very insensitive about his needs. And, boy, he hadn’t had ice cream in a while. And he made sure to eat it all night long.

  
So, after they “ate ice cream” (as if this metaphor wasn’t already on the nose), they were resting, because truth be told, they weren’t getting any younger. The Alvin Incident was put behind their backs as Hank put himself behind Antonio’s, spooning him. Until God decided that happiness was overrated, and the bell rang. Hank sat up and reached for his gun. Antonio snapped back to reality, flailing like an upside-down beetle for a few seconds.

“Stay here,” Hank ordered, leaving the room and Antonio. The bell rang again.

 _Oh, hell no_ , Antonio thought, leaped out of the bed and walked out.

The bell rang for the third time. Hank looked at the clock. It was too late to talk about our lord and savior or about Avon’s new line of products. He cocked the shotgun and the person outside heard it.

“Don’t shoot, I’m just here to pick up my spare key.”

Hank opened the door with a smile, to reveal Erin, “Hey, kid. Lost your key?”

Erin walked in and spotted something strange, “Left it in the district and you’re closer,” Her eyes kept going back to the coat hanger. She was lucky Hang had kicked their discarded clothes under the couch, “Is Antonio here?”

Said Antonio, who was “totally not” listening in, realized how cold Chicago was- any more retraction and there would be two female cops in the Unit (and maybe his relationship with Voight wouldn’t be so problematic).

“Yeah,” He heard and almost face palmed to the ground, “His apartment had a leak,” _You’re a leak_ , Antonio thought, before doubting his mental skills, “So he’s crashing here.”

The seconds while Erin processed the information made the house even colder and Antonio started wondering if PMS’ing would hurt.

“What if I wanted to crash here?” She jokes.

“You’d take my bed and I’d take the couch,” _You don’t want that_ , Antonio thought. They hadn’t changed the sheets yet.

“What a gentleman. Don’t worry, I just want the key.”

Hank chuckled, half relieved, and handed her a key with a little cat key chain. As she walked away, if she had just taken one good look, she’d see a pair of pants that were clearly not Hank’s.


	3. The time they were almost caught by Jay

His horoscope was wrong, Hank realized. Today was certainly **not** a good day for him. Why? He was bored. So bored, in fact, that he checked his horoscope. No cases. Nothing. It was a sad sight to see: the great Sergeant Voight at his desk, playing solitary, and losing.

It was better than staring at the walls, wishing for Death’s sweet embrace, which was Antonio’s current situation. He had even finished his reports, a true miracle. One that made Antonio very uncomfortable. He could feel the tsunami coming his way- it was all calm until karma hit him in the face (and karma was really pronounced HAH!). After Al and Erin, who could be next, Jay?

Hank closed the unfinished game and stretched, every bone in his body popping to the sound of a depressing symphony. Normally he didn’t have time for a midlife crisis, but since he had nothing better to do…

After making his fifth poorly engine plane, Antonio was one step away from madness. He stood up and walked to the kitchen area. Maybe coffee would speed things up- anything was better than seeing his aircraft plummeting to death.

And that was where he saw Hank turning on the coffee machine. He smiles.

“Tell me you’re as bored as me.”

Hank pours him a cup, “I was in the middle of an existential crisis. You?”

“Decided not to join the Air Force.”

Hank hands him the cup and takes the chance to wrap his arms around Antonio. He wasn’t a very PDA person, but he was so lonely he was DTF (Down To Fondle, you perverts).

“I bet we’re getting called tomorrow,” He whispers into Antonio’s neck.

“Then we can’t stay in bed all day.”

Antonio’s voice isn’t ‘breakfast in bed’, but more in the lines of ‘” ice cream” in bed… and other places’. Now that was a good way of fighting boredom.

Hank steps aside, smile much wider, “Good plan.”

“Great plan.”

“What do you want to do in bed?” Hank whispers, resting his hands on Antonio’s hips.

Antonio licks his lips, “I have somethings on my mind.”

“Somethings?”

“I think you’ll like it,” Antonio steps forward, eyes locked with Hank’s.

“I bet I will.”

Hank steps forward, cups Antonio’s cheek and leans in. As they get closer, Antonio blushes. Three inches, two, one-

“Sarge!” Jay stumbles in, a smile on his face. Antonio and Hank separated in an eyeblink, “We have a case.”

If Jay wasn’t so happy about finally have something to do, he’d notice that Antonio’s cheeks were still tainted a rosy red and that he kept staring at the ground. Or that Hank huffed and cursed under his breath.

No “ice cream” for Hank just yet.


	4. The time they were almost caught by Ruzek

They had a day off. Supposedly. On top of that, it was a sunny day. A one in a million day. So, they decided to enjoy it while it lasted (which, of course, it wasn’t long). Antonio forced Hank into swimming shorts, packed two beach towels and off they went.

There was just one person that didn’t share Antonio’s enthusiasm, “I can’t believe we’re here.”

Antonio professionally avoids two of the hundreds of Chicagoans who had the same idea as them while rolling his eyes.

“If you had your way, we’d still be in bed.”

“What wrong with that?” Hank drags his feet in the hot sand, trailing behind Antonio as he searches for a spot, “You seem to enjoy our time in bed.”

“Of course, I do, but it’s good to switch things up once in a while.”

They manage to secure a spot near the water. Hank puts down the beach bag, still pouting. Antonio ignores him, enjoying the hot sun hitting his face. It’s like the Grinch and an overly excited unicorn are on a school trip to the beach.

“Your definition of switching things up is lying in the sun, doing nothing?”

“Yeah. It’s a good way to relax,” Antonio spreads out his old and used towel, “And it’s finally hot!”

He makes a show of taking off his shirt, making sure Hank sees it. He had dragged him there, the guy deserved some eye candy. And that sure made him happier.

Hank, still staring at him, gives in, “Fine.” He keeps staring at Antonio undressing, unashamed, “Wait, do you have underwear under your shorts?”

“Yeah. If I don’t, they’ll just suck up around my crotch. I don’t want to be arrested for public indecency. At least not because of that.”

Antonio winks and folds his jeans. Hank just stands there, processing for a few seconds. He was going to get laid. In public. On a beach. …And then he gets hit by the sunscreen.

“Stop staring and put this on.”

Still dizzy from his possible, near future, Hank doesn’t even hear him, “What?”

He’s met with a smile, “The sunscreen. It’s for you.”

“Why?”

“Because you're whiter than Casper and I don’t want you to get sunburnt,” Antonio rests his arms under his head and relaxes as the sun does its thing.

“What about you?”

“I don’t need it.”

“What if you get burned?”

Antonio sighs and looks at Hank, who’s inspecting at the orange spray as if it’s going to give him the plague, “I’m Dominican, I’m immune to the sun.”

Hank finally gives in and starts undressing. Antonio lowers his glasses and wolf whistles. He receives a deadpan glare and an eye roll.

“I’m not going in there,” Hank points at the ocean.

“We’ll see.”

**

They did go swimming. It only took some pleading and a pair of puppy dog eyes to get him into the water. Now, none of them was a fan of PDA, and they kept their swimming pretty PG 13 over the water, but under the sea, it’s free real estate and there was definite… cupping. Well, to make a long and dirty story short, they had a lot of sea fun.

And because they were having a lot of sea fun, they forgot their phones in the towels. And yes, it’s their day off, their day away from all the wretched crime, but of course, that wasn’t going to stick for too long. And so, when they got back, Hank had four missed calls from Halstead and two from Erin, while Antonio had three in total.

Fighting against time, they messily pack everything. But as soon as Antonio starts getting dressed, he stops.

“Wait- We can’t go in like this. We’re wet.”

Hank hauls the bag over his shoulder and starts walking, wearing only his swim shorts, “It takes us thirty minutes to get home and ten more to the scene.”

Antonio walks behind him, drying his hair with the beach towel. They pass by some couples, dripping everywhere. They ignore a vendor who’s selling hats and beach entertainment and reach their car.

“Yeah, but we need to change.”

Hank after he puts the bag in the back, while Antonio shakes the sand off of him, “Okay. But no shower. We don’t have time.”

**

They go back to the car, now dressed. Antonio’s hair is still wet, slicked back and staining the headrest.

“Why do you have more calls than me?”

Hank looks at him from behind the wheel, “‘Cause I’m the Sergeant.”

The sun brings life to the streets, filling the lanes with cars and the sidewalks with people. Antonio pouts, yes, pouts, arms crossed and everything. Hank starts the car while shaking his head.

“But I’m the second in command. You could be dead, and they only call me three times?”

“Really? You’re killing me?”

Antonio stares out the window and shrugs, “I’m just saying…”

**

They arrive at the district faster than they thought. With Hank driving like Antonio was in labor, it’s really no surprise. Antonio even feared for his life as he grabbed on to the handlebar with superhuman strength. But he gets to the precinct with every bone in his body intact.

The moment they both go up the stairs, it’s like a monster with a hundred eyes is staring at them. Everyone looks at them for a second. Wondering why they arrived at the same time. Judging. Antonio freezes. His heart beats faster.

Hank steps away from him, resting his hand on his shoulder blade before walking to the board. And then everyone goes back to their thing. Ruzek walks up to Antonio, pats his arm and smiles.

“You went to the beach? Your hair is all wet.”

Antonio smiles and scratches his arm, “Yeah, I wanted to go outside for once.”

He joins Hank in front of the board, reading the information. They’re so close, Antonio could feel the heat coming from his skin. He blushes and looks away from him. It’s like Hank is doing it on purpose. It’s like he loves making Antonio blush, to watch his tanned cheeks be painted red.

Antonio, still burning, gains the courage to speak, “We need to talk-”

And then Ruzek gets in the middle. Antonio rolls his eyes and walks away. For the ones with watchful eyes, they would notice how Hank’s shoulders tensed and how he turned away from the conversation. But Ruzek is as blind as a cross-eyed llama with an armadillo up its ass singing Hakuna Matata. So, he just keeps blabbing on.

“Did you go to the beach too, boss? You smell like sunscreen.”

Hank’s eyes shift to Antonio’s panicked face in the other corner of the room. And then something magical happens- a telepathic conversation, the ones who only happen in movies. Or fanfics.

‘Lie, lie, lie!’ Antonio frowns, shaking his head slightly.

‘What do I say?’ Hank frowns too.

‘You’re a cop, figure it out’ He points to Ruzek with his head twice.

Hank sighs and turns to his underling, faking a smile.

“No, I was doing some work outside and I was turning red.”

Antonio lifts his hands and his mouth hangs open. He can’t believe it. That man lied on a regular basis, but now, a six-year-old could lie better.

And then Erin joins the conversation, “I thought you were too macho to admit you’re only human.”

He chuckles, “I gave up.”

Ruzek laughs along, “I thought you and Antonio went to the beach together.” Hank’s heart stops. He stops chuckling, “That would be pretty weird.”

Hank looks back to his lover. Antonio frowns. ‘Keep it cool, Voight!’

Hank forces a smile and chuckles, “I don’t even like the beach. Too many people.”

The three laugh it off. Antonio sighs in relief and raises a hand to his chest, calming his heart.

They really should get a new car.


End file.
